Can't we all just.......belong?

From birth we are programmed to not only depend upon, but also to enjoy the company of others. It is basic nature to desire the company of another soul to share the experiences of life with. It is why our families have the unbreakable bond, why we keep a good friend as if they are more dear than gold, and even why we we fuse lifelong bonds with our peers in education & athletics, despite only being an activity. As humans we love to share, we want an understanding ally to huddle next to, someone who truly can KNOW what we are going through. An equal to love, the yearning to belong, to be a part of something, with someone, is an emotion in life which we tirelessly pursue with infinite fervor in hopes of satisying, if only for the briefest moment.

This quiet phenomenon lives and breathes everywhere, in every aspect, of our lives. From the school boy who cries at not being invited to a birthday party, to a salesman who wreaks havoc on mind and health to maintain par with his peers, to even the most devout participant of sobriety who will have that one beer with new acquaintances as to not give off any misconstrued impressions. It is this insatiable desire to attach which dictates and guides our lives on a daily basis.

So why does this behavior exist? What does belonging to something provide that makes us so susceptible to sacrifice of reason and judgement? Understanding. We would do anything to be understood, to be viewed and valued as a cohort, and to have those in our lives who know what we are experiencing. Reversely we hope that we can equally employ empathy on them as well. Our mother's and father's knew us so well as children, our closest friends knew us in adolescence, and our love's know us in adulthood and old age. I see it as no mistake that our love for each of these groups grows strongest during these periods.

The sense of belonging is why Veterans can look one another in the eye and say everything with silence. Belonging is why we will push body and mind to challenge ourselves to raise our ability in almost every situation imaginable. A catch here might be also why belonging can make us work so hard, and commit so much to stay out of particular groups and associations, examples need not be mentioned.

If belonging spawns understanding, than appreciation must also be nominated as a factor. Having someone that you can relate to, can assess and act along with on equal grounds and emulate experiences is an asset we will bend to even the greatest lengths to keep. It is why we talk sports with teammates, why we feel unafraid to share ourselves completely with those we hold closest and even why we withhold emotions and thoughts from the majority of our satellite acquaintances.

This desire burns with the luminosity of the sun, yet maintains the footprint of a field mouse. It screams under the radar, never quite wanting to be unearthed. Yet all the while it is dictating and conducting our lives with the effect of a maestro. School reunions, sport alumni functions, networking groups, and awards ceremonies all provide the same service; They unite. And with this unification comes the presence of peers, those who have been through it themselves, who hold a bond with us which we know needs no acknowledgement.

As humans we engage in some debatable behaviors in attempts of achieving happiness and inner peace. Our species loves to dream, to forecast, assume and hope that certain accolades and successes will provide exact amounts of gratification. But here, again I theorize that the want to belong surfaces. For we are very good at identifying that which we do not have, those with whom we do not align, and are even more clinical in creating ideas that we must complete to make these things so. As a collegiate hockey player you always want the next level, as a stand up comedian you want that HBO special, and as a businessman you want that VP title. We desire these nominated successes for the company they bring as much as the personal gain they boast. In contrast we know if we fail, those who fail too will always take on a more welcomed and related standing with ourselves.

This always evolving emotion will forever slash trails of our existence. The sense of belonging will depict behavior on scales which we might never understand, and probably never appreciate. Our desire to not be alone, in anything, despite even the most objectionable claims of independence, is one not to ignore but rather embrace. Appreciate those who can attest, respect those who can relate, and thank those who try. Additionally to those whom we do not understand, we shall attempt, and if we encounter a scenario in which we can't, let us embrace the value of variety, if for nothing more than to make things interesting.

You get me?