Today I was in the gym working on my leg strength. Anyone who knows me and my physical stature knows my lower body is an area I could probably afford to devote more attention. Unfortunately doing legs in the gym is an incredible pain in the ass. Why? Results. When we endeavour at something and exert a great deal of time and effort to a task without seeing positive gains the resulting emotional stew is often one of frustration, anger and severe questioning if the hassle is even worth it. Lack of results is why we quit sports, school, jobs, hobbies, relationships and so on. Comparatively, the presence of positive results is why we stick with all the same things. Human nature dictates a strong desire to know that the things we commit ourselves to are indeed 'worth it' and beneficial to our existence. When something does not quench our thirst for feedback, rather than working even harder, it is so much more convenient to pull the chute and move on to the next challenge. With leg exercises I'd be lying if I said I have never contemplated abandoning them completely, unfortunately this would spell disaster when your occupation depends on athletic conditioning.
Results can exist in infinite ways. Comments, grades, emotions, appreciation, goals, awards, and so on. We all understand and know what would make us feel good and these desires vary with every single one of us. Some enjoy accolades, some thrive off of respect from peers and others might be satisfied by hitting individual goals. The challenge is finding enough results to fuel our continued passion in these disciplines and a drive to continue in them. In whatever form they might be.
Positive reinforcement or feedback makes anyone feel great. It is no secret that the potential and performance of someone is much more effectively enhanced when infused with positive reinforcement rather than negative criticism. The problem often for many is the lack of this luxury and I believe this attributes greatly to the failures or resignations of people in all types of aforementioned endeavors. With my hockey career, I would not be playing still if I had not received positive accolades and encouragement. To support this theory I bring to light the numerous other sports I chose not to pursue, and honestly in hindsight it was because I was not as strong in them as in hockey. Or take this blog for example. If I was an awful writer, and people told me how poor my skills and talents were in this literary forum, do you think I would keep publishing? Probably not. Rather I would devote my efforts and time to something I felt more confident and fulfilled in doing, maybe an instrument or social service, who knows. Is this behavior healthy or correct? That's debatable, but for me, it's who I am and how I am and I can accept and embrace my tendencies when it leads to more successful enterprises in the long run. We all can, and we all do.
Compliment others. This is a reoccurring theme that has surfaced many times in many different books that I have read. Make others feel good about themselves and they will hold you in a higher light. I'll admit my application and practice of this habit has been slow and premature at times but it is a discipline I am working at to improve in. This topic is the perfect canvas to utilize this popular advice and I believe if more people understood and implemented it we would see a population with increased drive, confidence and capability moving forward. We love results, of the positive variety. Whose to say we can't use one another to encourage and motivate to garner them. It is a natural tool whose applications are endless and its required effort so minute. Envision for a second what a compliment or two would do for you in a discipline in which you devote a great amount of time & effort? For me, compliments equal encouragement and encouragement makes me exponentially more confident and inspired to push myself further in the passions in which I excel. Try it, or better yet try to capture and memorize the way the next compliment you receive makes you feel, few things are better.
I am not justifying that people should only do things in which they are strong. Everything we do and throw ourselves at was new and challenging at some point. But the beauty here is WHY we choose to stick with select passions. To undergo the hardships and the occasions when we didn't feel so great, our confidence dwindled and we considered if it was really worth it. Every ones reasons are different. Yet I theorize that all contained some type of positive reinforcement along the way yielding positive results that propelled us onward and upward. If we all looked back on the choices we made in what to devote ourselves to I believe the activities and disciplines we chose are the ones in which we received the most positive encouragement and motivating feedback. In contrast, review the instances where you gave up on a hobby, perhaps where you cited a "Lack of interest" or "decrease in satisfaction" and really examine the level of positive reinforcement you received. I'm willing to wager that it wasn't much.
From the five year old on the soccer field to the thirty five year old in the board room, a pat on the back and "great job" will always have the same effects in motivation and encouragement. Results are defined per individual. And whether it is a global accolade or recognition from a friend, both can have incredibly positive effects in pushing someone to keep up the good work. If we all commit to creating more results and markers in any conceivable form for one another I have no doubt as a collective whole our passions will grow, our efforts will thrive and confidence flourish in every conceivable discipline or path that we so choose.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read my mind. Feedback is always encouraged.
Don't worry, be happy....enjoy sports for what they are....games. And, as you know better than most of us, games are won and lost for many reasons. Some within our control and many things that we can't do anything about, no matter how hard we try. It's satisfying when a team plays to its potential and is victorious and it's always nearly as satisfying even if you lose a game when you know that you've given your all. Funny....I said "nearly as satisfying" cause its always sweater when a good performance is rewarded in the win column as well.
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