Yet more and more in today's social climate it seems that those of us in this genre are leaving the safety and comfort of our upbringing, educations and family care, with the hesitation and self doubt more resembling a virgin skydiver. Over a volcano. Those who do spring from campus to cubicle quickly are slapped with the realizations of the working world. The allure fades, the truths emerge and the tolls -- mental, physical, emotional -- begin to garnish our bodily wages. The lucky (and few) have expected this, they were trained, prepped and hardened like lacquer. But it is the majority that panic, they initiate the questioning. "Am I happy?" or "Did I make the right choice?", a naturally programmed mental escape system designed to systematically help us "Punch out." Amidst our struggles we look to our peers, we compete, stack ourselves, and draw comparisons. It doesn't help that this phenomenon has been exponentially enhanced thanks to social networking and communications technologies. "He already has a PhD. She's an attorney. What about me?" we harp. And lest not believe that these thoughts and sentiments cease at careers. In the scope of one's self evaluation everything is thrown in the pot. Love life, friends, fulfillment, accomplishment, we grind ourselves through the gauntlet. All the while hoping that the answer(s) will lie emboldened and lucid just beyond the next hurdle. Ladies & gentlemen, I welcome you to the Q.L.C.
The Quarter Life Crisis is a social plague sweeping through the 20-30 spectrum quicker than Danica Patrick piloting the space shuttle. As quick as today's younger generations have utilized technology and educational advancement to arm themselves, so to have they developed self pressures and standards that are more often than not proving to be overpowering. Today's world harvests and delivers success to our doorsteps in minutes and through every imaginable medium. Consequently so does it with failure, and disappointment too. One great accomplishment is immediately overshadowed by the next. Every minute it seems we can find proof of some sort of success or accolade from a peer. Be it a beaming new career, an engagement to the love of their lives, a flash new car, a vacation to the other side of the globe, even an immutable sense of happiness, this list goes further than Hubble. Because of this trend more young people are burdening themselves with self doubt & disappointment, combining the best of everyone else and placing upon themselves expectations that dictate and often demand immediate answers of "Why haven't you done this? Or that? Because they have." It's a vicious strain of self inflicted suffering and it raises negative questions of how it all came about.
As children our parents instilled upon us the beautiful sense of unbridled optimism that told us we could grow up to be anything our hearts and minds desired. They wanted to give us every tool in the shed, as many advantages as possible to aid us in our aspiration ascent. The support lines were always open, always encouraging, always nudging us forward in our quest to find and define ourselves. Yet were they too soft? Did they fill the encyclopedias with the best parts and neglect the difficult? Did the part on "Paying your dues." somehow slip out? Or could fault have lied within our education systems? I for one never remember hearing a teacher or professor say that before we became the executive, we'd have to make one hundred cold calls a day and argue in doorways with potential clients, struggle to make due on commission and juggle insurance payments. Were we too sheltered? Too blissfully naive?
Perhaps it was the options. When you are raised to believe you can be anything you want, it is unavoidable that a halo of divinity is placed upon your chosen path. For the doctor, life will surely be filled with glamorous operating rooms, notoriety and prestige. Never mind the paperwork, pricing, decade of post graduate studies, more paperwork and the rest of the "Grunt work." Should we have been trained and conditioned on what to expect immediately following our studies rather than lured with the end goal? Would the details of our educations taken a stronger root in our minds and hearts had we had greater acceptance and idea of their real world application? It is because of this trend that many of us begin our intended dream careers and quickly find ourselves soured with the reality of the role. We quickly panic, convince ourselves we were wrong and misguided in our aim and take drastic action to jump to the next option on the list, the plan B. Or are we just too spoiled? Too soft?
Life and happiness within it obviously contains much more than work. What about love? A good friend of mine expressed to me her discontent and worry due to the fact that she was still single at this stage of life, when every day it seemed a friend or colleague of hers was poster-izing their recent relationship success stories for all to see. Why not her? Was there something wrong with her to sentence her to such painful anxiety and singularity ? Was she a cyclops? Have a third arm? In fact, I have spoken with many friends and acquaintances about this issue. It's human nature to want to be loved, and to have someone to love yourself. Furthermore it is also human nature to envy, dare I say be jealous, of an other's happiness when ones self is still searching to find their own? We all are guilty and can any of us truly help it? This behavior is only accelerated in the QLC, when it seems everyone is slipping a ring on an other's finger, announcing a child, celebrating love. Luckily for us, in today's society and with our incredible social technology, we can all be alerted instantaneously on these declarations. Lately for myself I feel as if it is nearly daily that a peer is making one of these. They say when it rains, it pours, and I believe it. For those of us not yet ready to "Settle down", to make a life commitment, or even those who just have not found the right "one", it's only human to wonder why? This is often a very hard, emotional thing to do and to do it without comparison to our peers is even more strenuous.
How do we escape the clutches of the QLC? Is there a cure-all method to the mid twenties maze? I believe it starts with action. To theorize and ponder is easy. Our minds can create and envision everything this world has to offer. But to implement the plans, to throw ourselves at the coals and start the odyssey to our envisioned climax takes an entirely new, and quite courageous set of skills and behaviors. We are taught that we won't know if we like something until we try it. This must become a staple in our lives. If your life was diagrammed as a foods pyramid, treat this sage advice as vegetables. We must sample, experiment, and wander from the confines of comfort. Each and every one of us possesses but one life, one shot. The great thing about this is our ability to craft and customize every aspect, constantly adding and subtracting substance until we develop the perfect mix.
With careers, let us do what makes us truly happy, cliche? absolutely. For some, finding this satisfaction may prove daunting and seem lengthy at stages (Cough, cough...) But let us take pride in where we have been, what we already have done, and mobilize these feats and landmarks to guide us further on in our own epics. With love let us prescribe the same. Nibble, sample, embrace variety, for how else does one become a connoisseur without experience?
Let us reject the impulse to compare. However easy it is today to find someone with something you envy, we mustn't. Instead, look within ourselves and embrace our strengths and experiences that have made us the women and men we are today. Envy is a two way street, and you can best believe that when you are staring, wishfully at what someone may have, chances are more often than not that they are looking right back, yes, at you. Appreciate all you have done to survive this far, be prideful of your accomplishments, for we all have but one critic whose opinion matters, and their identity is of no mystery.
The QLC does not discriminate. No one skips this stage of life. We all move at our own paces, develop in unique ways and succeed in a myriad of others. No two lives are alike, thus the reason why we should never think they may be. Let us take solace in the fact that we are all of the same design, susceptible to the same emotions, be it elation or sorrow. Let us consult where we want so bad to compete. May we learn of and not long for. Embrace the technologies of our time but yield their ability to influence our self satisfaction. There is a reason we have made it this far and conquered so much. The same reasons will launch us through the rest of our life, like a roller coaster where everyone rides, one that may be scary as hell but in the end damn, what a rush.
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